My Chat with "Sandra"

This is Albert. I was excited to see that Sandra was online this morning since I hadn't heard from her all weekend. I decided to post the transcript of our chat below because, you see, Sandra has changed...I've included a few running notes about the conversation too.

AIM IM with Sandra.

ALBERT
10:45 AM
WHERE ARE YOOOUUUUUU

11:10 AM
dammit!
[I was getting pissed because she was taking long to respond]

*SANDRA
eh?
[What is this "eh"?, I thought. Where's the excitement?]

ALBERT
what's going on?

*SANDRA
not much
[Well, I'm a little bummed that she's giving me short answers aafter a weekend of not hearing from her, but I'm thinking that she's involved in about 3 other chats and checking email, so I'm willing to let it pass, though I am getting a little irritated.]

ALBERT
why are you ignoring my sweet chat?
[I try another light foray into conversation]

*SANDRA
im not, pc froze sorry
[Hmmm. The shortened impersonal sentences are still bothering me]

ALBERT
F'in PC's!

*SANDRA
yeah right.
useless.
[She's just not responding as I would expect...]

ALBERT
hmm
[I voice what I'm thinking. Something is wierd. I'm pissed off by now that she's being so aloof. Some time passes and she intiates...]

*SANDRA
ah hem.. so, you were saying...
[The whole sentence is just not Sandra. Is she being strange? Is she letting some drunk British guy chat for her? Or has somebody stolen her AIM account?]

ALBERT
you're probably wondering how our six dogs are doing
[A test. We have four dogs.]

*SANDRA
what r u talking about? your crazy
and you dont have six dogs
unless youve been keeping secrets??
[She's right. But she says "you don't have six dogs instead" of "we". What the hell is going on?! I'm picturing her sitting around with some British ass who is typing for her and not being very smart about it. No matter the reason, I'm thoroughly annoyed and have given up trying to comunicate...]

*SANDRA
11:15 AM
now where did you go?

ALBERT
I'm here.

*SANDRA
so what were you saying while i got frozen out?
hmm?

ALBERT
nothing...just trying to get your attention.
[The "hmm?" bothers me. Doesn't seem right.]

*SANDRA
11:20 AM
he he
[This does sound like Sandra.]

ALBERT
where are you?
how many chats are you doing?
and which dog do you miss the most?
[Another attempt at getting to the bottom of what the hell's going on.]

*SANDRA
too many chats to get your craziness
the dog i miss the most is scooby doo
followed by the old one from 'homeward bound'
[That's it. This is clearly not Sandra. And if it is, she's really pissed me off. I decide it's not her]

ALBERT
why are you using my wife's account you fuck?

*SANDRA
she left it logged in in the internet cafe.. sorry, just thought it'd be an interesting experiment/test to see how long before you noticed... but since it was your wifes its not surprising that you noticed so quickly.. its related to A.I. and whether you can pretend to be a person without knowing aything about the person...im afraid its not a very exciting explanation...no sabotage, or identity theft or anything interesting
[Well, the truth finally comes out, and the fact that the dude's so honest about it disarms me. Plus, I'm relieved that it's not Sandra being a smartass]

ALBERT
uh...
sorry to call you a fuck...

*SANDRA
but remind her to log off of her account, especially if shes using an internet cafe machine.

ALBERT
11:35 AM
by the way, I was suspicious with your first word..."eh". haven't seen her use that but thought maybe she was picking up British terminology.

*SANDRA
Yeah, If you had just been friends i might have stood a better chance but you know her far too well.
oh, where u from? usa?

ALBERT
yes. and you? a native?

*SANDRA
yeah. not to london, but england
i live here now tho

ALBERT
By the way
have others tried to say hello?

*SANDRA
your not suspicious are you? maybe there is some espionage to be had after all

ALBERT
Doubt it.

*SANDRA
well there was one guy "horny&hung32"
hehe just joking

ALBERT
But I have seen that her account's been on in the middle of the night over there and I've tried to chat with her...she's definitely left it logged in but no one's ever responded to me...just used it to talk to others, I guess

*SANDRA
11:40 AM
oh you mean she hasnt logged out

ALBERT
right...several times I think.
Anyhow, I gotta get to work. Nice meeting you after all.

*SANDRA
yeah you too.
surreal.

ALBERT
Yeah. Later.
[My work here is done.]